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Hello Everyone: Lord Baldrith here with another fine and emotional poem by Apollox Evanheart! I have been asked to create this piece with emotion and heartfelt apathy to an emotionally troubled and terrorized soldier in times of battle.

A Change…From Knight to Day by Apollox Evanheart

Music: “Prepare Your Swords” by Bojidar Marinov

I feel like a monster
While enemies fall victim to my sword
I’ve protected my King and country
But I don’t deserve any rewards
I feel hopeless
Those things will never seem to change
Loyalty, Respect and Honor is my code
But now that becomes something to blame

I’ve slain many men
Most having family and children
I’m praised as a hero
But suffer and feel more like a villain
Who am I to judge?
How do I decide who to save?
I’ve lead my men to victory
But I don’t deserve your praise

These visual hallucinations
Are eating me up inside
The voices speak calmly to me
Often leaving me to cry
Another day I will suffer
Another day I ask why
Something has got to give or break
I can’t take another sleepless night

I want to stop the voices
I want to contain this rage
I’ve done this my whole life
Now I grow old in age
Is it too late to change my path?
Can I even be redeemed?
If Nataurz taught me anything
It’s to always follow your dreams

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Hello everyone! Lord Baldrith here with a great and dark poem by Apollox Evanheart. Produced by Lord Baldrith.

I Bid You…Goodnight by Apollox Evanheart

Music: “Closed Area” by: Alexandr Zhelanov https://soundcloud.com/alexandr-zhelanov

Sometimes I struggle
Feeling as if I’m bypassed
Looking forward to the future
But haunted by my past.
I try to reach the next chapter
I try to turn the page
A book with a happy beginning
But its contents filled with rage

Not a day goes by
I don’t start to contemplate
I try for a better life
Only beginning to hesitate
Held back by my fears
Losing grip of my dreams
If your heard the voices I have
You’d also like to scream

I don’t want to be a hero
I don’t want to be your saint
I give into the overwhelming pain
I don’t show much for restraint
I might seem to have wisdom
I may seem I have a voice
But if I was to try make a good decision
I wouldn’t be able to make that choice

I’ve dealt with it this long
Ill deal with it some more
Another chapter to be wrote
Another voice to ignore
I’m done for now with this battle
I no longer want to fight
I want to say to be continued
As I bid you… goodnight