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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the next exciting instalment in
The story of Kobold Skrek’Kex
Written by Kobold Skrek’Kex
Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 3
Skrek’Kex nervously paced the living room in his dwelling. Heading out to search for a dragon! And all because he had wanted to eat a tiiiny slice of pumpkin pie – it was really unfair. His stomach rumbled in agreement. Well, a kobold must do what a kobold must do. And although kobold expeditions had the tendency to end deadly and in general were rather uncomfortable affairs, there were positive aspects about them, too. First and foremost, redeeming himself in the eyes of the fearless leader. It also held a certain allure to the cunning kobold, to go where not many kobolds had ventured before. There were so many secrets to learn, tricks to be played, things to be borrowed… If he played this just right, he’d be greatly rewarded and forever held in veneration. Skrek’Kex vivid imagination showed him himself, riding on a huge spider-beast, followed by a trail of obedient human slaves carrying chests of loot, back into the Caverns of Skrekk. He saw himself riding along the narrow cavern corridors, lined with kobolds all aah-ing and ooh-ing in deep respect for the dauntless explorer. He held a huge iridescent dragon scale, craftily made into a kobold-sized shield for the Grakkhaz, which had been gifted to him by the dragon as a sign of their alliance. The dragon he had been able to persuade into alliance with the kobolds in exchange for the incessant devotions of his worshippers, the dragon whose voice he would operate from now on.

A loud knock startled Skrek’Kex from his day dreams. “Yeeesssh?” he asked. Without further ado Zap’Hex entered. Skrek’Kex bowed deeply before the old magician, partly out of reverence for the wise kobold and partly ingrained after years of attending his teachings – and beatings. And promptly the older kobold hit Skrek’Kex on his head with his pine staff. Stunned Skrek’Kex fell onto his bottom “Yoouch…” rubbing his head with one hand and holding the other up protectively he cautiously looked up at the elderly kobold. Zap’Hex narrowed his eyes and hissed “You fool! What in Kurtulmak’s name possesses you to these follies? I know you are not stupid, but sometimes..!” Shaking his head and sighing the elderly kobold sat down onto a kobold bench. “I was of a mind to just let the Grakkhaz know what it was *really* you brought him there.” The old mage harrumphed and hmphed some more, shaking his head. “Kex… I hope one day you will learn the wisdom of looking ahead before acting.” Skrek’Kex, silently, thought to himself that this was an unfair assessment. He had looked ahead – there had been pie to be had. In his opinion Zap’Hex truly and foolishly undervalued a good meal.

“Anyways” Zap’Hex continued after the silence had lasted for a while “I have not come to lecture you again on this, but I have come to make sure you leave prepared. Do not underestimate the task ahead of you. Even though the Grakkhaz is going to send a sizable exploration party, dragons are moody and erratic even at their best. And there will be more than just dragons. Here in Norgard we know the neighboring hooman tribes, we know their follies and their weaknesses, we know where they camp and where they hunt. But the mainland hooman tribes are different and mostly unknown to us. It has been in my grandfathers-grandfathers days we last sent an exploration party this far. To be honest, it might be too ambitious a task to survive, but the esteem our tribe could garner if we only had a dragon to worship… With the hoomans hunting them the dragons have become careful and most Elder Dragons have removed themselves to more remote places neither us nor the hoomans can easily reach. The foolish younger ones which still hunt close to the hooman lands mostly don’t grow old and are not worth worshipping. This Elder Dragon, if the tales are true, is of exceptional wisdom and might. If we can ally us to him…”

Tapping the end of his wand to the floor the elder kobold again shook his head. “Well, it is no use to talk of things that could be. As I said, unknown perils and dangers wait where you are going, and even though you will not go alone, I advise you to enlist more help. Do you remember the summoning lessons?” Skrek’Kex nodded eagerly. He had often summoned a lesser imp to employ as a distraction for the cook at school. Useful little devils, but also quite a bit unreliable and gluttonous, which had lastly lead to some painful quarrels over the spoils of their deeds and to Skrek’Kex deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“I have brought you a book.” Carefully the old mage unwrapped a large, worn volume from the shielding envelope he had carried it in. ‘Liber Magni de Incantationibus’ was written in large, dark red letters onto the cover. The binding felt smooth and cold to Skrek’Kex touch as he gingerly took the volume. Carefully he used his index claw to turn the pages, filled with mythical incantations and diagrams. The book had to be very old judging from the brittle state of the paper, it was also missing some parts here and there, some pages were singed or unreadable because some liquids had been spilled and left dark red stains onto them.

“I trust you to choose a companion for the travel that will be of use to you. Unfortunately, the book is enchanted in a way that makes it impossible to copy. Many pages are too damaged to safely summon from them, I know. Most of the lesser demons though can still safely be summoned and will be a valuable aid in your travels as they will be able to hold watch over you even when you get tired or spy on the hoomans for you, even when you would be easily spotted. Keep in mind though, that every deal has it’s price.”, the old mage spoke. “You can have Eeza’bel return the book to me when you are finished”. Without further ado the old mage turned and left Skrek’Kex, who had been all too fascinated to listen, alone. Here was a page about Belgior, a demon prince, and how to prepare the needed sacrifice to ensure his indulgence, here a page on a species of flying demons, used in earlier wars as spies and to drop cursed fire on the enemy. He’d show the Grakkhaz and Zap’Hex that he was worthy, he would honor them and then impress the dragon, too, with his powerful demon minion!

Swiftly he turned to prepare everything. He had chosen a fearful eight legged demon beast with the head of a hawk and the body of a snake. He’d be able to ride it and scout for the explorers, with it’s eight clawed legs it should also be a great asset in battle! Even the name – Baal’Awk the Abominable – would make his foes cower in fear! Carefully, sticking his tongue out of the side of his draconian snout, Skrek’Kex set a circle of salt to bind and protect himself from the demon so he could make a pact with him. Looking through his vials he found one with a fire elementals ‘blood’, dried to a powdery substance with which he drew a pentagram and a circle inside the circle of salt. As seen on the instructional diagram he placed 5 candles at the points of the star that had been cast during a new moon. Whetting his claw and turning the page he continued the instructions. Curious, the page felt thicker than the last one underneath his scaly hands… but he disregarded that and continued. Finally he was ready to speak the ritualistic words that would summon the demon and bind it to obedience. Beginning with “Te accerso magnum daemonem. Adiuro vos nomine Hastur et Belial… Per robur aquae et ignis, tenentur. Audite!” he continued on with the lengthy incantation, calling on old bonds and times forgotten. Soon, the room grew darker and a sulfurous smell manifested. Excitedly the small kobold continued his endeavors, his incantations continuing louder, his voice urgent. He hesitated for a moment at a passage about harvest and crops, but then decided that it was probably all right and continued. And suddenly, with a wailing sounds, and in a dark grey-purplish cloud a red eyed, black feathered turkey manifested. “AWWWWK!” it crowed. And again “AWWWK!!” picking at the herbs thrown into the pentagram for the incantation.

Skrek’Kex was baffled. What had gone wrong..? He was about to step through the salt-barrier when suddenly he remembered a lesson about a demon who had tricked his summoner to just do so and then had devoured the careless fool. Ah, surely it must be a mighty demon, to think of such a plot, to disguise himself as a harmless turkey, genius! “Youse bound by me now, no eating Skrek’Kex!” he ascertained and spoke the ritualistic words to bind the demon to him. The demon/turkey again just awwwk’ed, maybe a bit more content because of the twig with thyme he had found. Skrek’Kex spoke the correct words to banish all unbound demons before destroying the barrier and nodded, pleased with himself, when the turkey/demon did not vanish. He had successfully bound a mighty demon! Tapping his foot impatiently he waited for the demon to reveal his true form. But he did not change. Instead the turkey/demon kept pecking at some left over scraps of food he had found close to the table, eyeing Skrek’Kex with a certain intelligence from his red, wary, beady eyes. Certainly, very convincing turkey behavior. “Well, we’se will speak some other time.” the kobold finally conceded “Have your way, maybe it is even clever to not let the others know…” he mused. “We will leave for the mainland in the morning.”

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the next exciting chapter of
The Story of Kobold Skrek’Kex
Written by Kobold Skrek’Kex

Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 2

Skrek’Kex was unable to wind out of the vice like grip of the much bigger Kobold and whimpered a little. What had started as a fool proof plan was certainly not going as he had expected! The great hall they had entered was dimly illuminated by torches. It was decorated in classic Kobold, lots of metal and red velvet dominating the scene. In the middle of the great hall on a dragon bone throne sat a huge Kobold scaled in a sickly green and yellow. He was not only very tall for a Kobold but also possessed immense girth which his studded leather jerkin and pants struggled to contain. On his clawed fingers he wore bejewelled golden rings in abundance, and his head was adorned by a large bear head, the teeth having been replaced by craftily cut rubies.

As Skrek’Kex and his escort entered, the great Grakkazh was busy whacking a Kobold in a purple and orange jester’s dress on the head with a turkey drumstick. “Nooo!” he bellowed at the jester “Grakkazh not like! NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!”. The jester ducked and whimpered “Me’se sorry for not pleasing Great Grakkhaz! Njoghgrok can do another trick, please!” The Grakhkazh had meanwhile noticed Skrek’Kex and eyed him with disdain. With a dismissive gesture towards the jester, who gladly and hurriedly left the room, he turned toward the guard “Why you bring trash in my hall, Kraz’Boom?” suddenly his eyes narrowed “HAS HE DONE SOMETHING TO MY PRECIOUS BARBELED DRAGONFISH?!” he shouted, and before having ended the sentence the Grakkhaz, with an astonishing speed for a Kobold his size, had jumped up and violently knocked the dinner table in front of him over so that the plates and tumblers on the table flew across the room.

“No, oh your magnificent Dreadfulness!” Skrek’Kex hastily squeaked while he cowered in anticipation of another violent outburst. “Skrek’Kex would never touch holy fish! Accident with holy fish last time was a very bad misunderstanding, Skrek’Kex swear!” after the dreaded beating had not happened yet Skrek’Kex relaxed a little and, from his cowering position, looked up at the Grakkhaz who now stood in front of him, tapping his claws impatiently against the shaft of his huge spiked mace. “So?” the Grakkhaz asked. Skrek’Kex nodded hastily “Me’se bring important and troubling news from the hoomaz! Facing grave dangers, all for the good of the tribe, Skrek’Kex has managed to acquire this from the stores of a mighty wizard. Me thinks the hoomaz are planning to attack!” he explained and eagerly presented the Grakkhaz with the crumpled paper.

Impatiently the Grakkhaz snatched the paper from Skrek’Kex outstretched claw. Turning it up and down and left and right he harrumphed a few times meaningfully. Although the Grakkhaz was far from stupid, he had never learned to read anything but basic Kobold. There was always one of the skinny brainy types around to do his bidding in exchange for a non-beating after all! After a few more acknowledging grunts the Grakkhaz felt he had shown enough that he understood the importance of the document and bellowed “Zap’Hex! To me!” And only a few moments later a small gnarled Kobold in purple and golden robes with an intricate feathered headdress walking with the help of a silver cane entered the hall from a door in the back. “Yes, your Maleficience?” he asked “Do you have need of my services?” With a grunt the Grakkhaz shoved the even more crumpled paper towards the court magician. Zap’Hex gingerly tried to smooth the paper out and with his index claw pushed his wire frame glasses up a bit. Relaxing a little at the sight of his old mentor Skrek’Kex couldn’t help but notice that unfortunately none of the pie crusts, that had been left over and now lay strewn across the floor, had landed close enough for him to try to stealthily pocket them.

After a while Zap’Hex sighed and shot a meaningful glance at Skrek’Kex who in turn managed at least to look a *little* embarassed. Zap’Hex of course was not fooled by Skrek’Kex’ story, he had studied the humans and their customs for decades and promptly and adequately had decided the note was meaningless. Still, he decided against telling the Grakkhaz of Skrek’Kex blatant lie. Skrek’Kex was a nuisance, a liar and a thief (even more than most Kobolds) but he had his talents.

Zap’Hex had taken on Skrek’Kex as a student in the past until he had been forced to expel him from the courses because he wouldn’t stop “borrowing” the chickens, kept at school for some of the nastier experiments, to roast them and sell them to the other students during lunch breaks, he was also caught multiple times selling the other students’ alchemical copper pots on the market, when he could get his claws on them, and even drawing in his fellow students book so they would get their incantations wrong resulting in some nasty accidents with demonic surprises. Still, he had been talented as only another handful he had trained, if he had only seen the long term benefits of refraining from immediately breaking all the rules so he could learn the skills to break much more later… but Skrek’Kex had never been one for long-term-goals.

The Grakkhaz, whose attention had been fixed on Zap’Hex, failed to notice the quick exchange of looks and impatiently asked Zap’Hex “What do you make of it? What are the hoomanz up to?” Zap’Hex weighed his answer carefully “Well, this is certainly a *fascinating* document here, but in regards of an attack plan, I… can’t be sure. I think it prudent to send out a group to investigate.” The Grakkhaz nodded his agreement “We will send Zod’Utgrakhz, Drab’Farkh, Bang’Grakh and Slit’zhok” turning towards a guard he motioned him with his hand “Notify them they are to gather intelligence, Skrek’Kex will lead them to where-” Zap’Hex coughed, interrupting the Grakhhaz mid-sentence, bowing his head slightly in apology “As for Skrek’Kex I have another proposal, if the Great One would care to listen to his humble advisor?”

Although not pleased the Grakkhaz motioned the old court mage to continue “I have heard rumors of an Elder Dragon close to the human settlement of Serenite. As Skrek’Kex is quite adept at human customs and language and also skilled in the magical arts I want to send him and a handful of trusted Kobolds to investigate there if the rumors are true. An Elder Dragon our tribe could serve would be great news to all.” With a fanatic glint in his eyes the Grakkhaz nodded agreement. “An Elder Dragon! By Gaknulak, this – if true – is great news!” turning to Skrek’Kex “You will head out immediately after everything is prepared.” Skrek’Kex could only nod. It was an honor to be sent out to search for or pledge allegiance to a dragon – if only they weren’t always so hungry. Skrek’Kex hoped he Grakkhaz would send enough Kobolds with him so the odds of being eaten would be low…

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with the first instalment of a wonderful tale from Kobold Skrek’Kex.
It is entitled

The Story of Kobold Skrek’Kex
Background music by Smartsound

Chapter 1
A rich smell of flour, sugar, nutmeg and pumpkin wavered through the small rocky paths of the Caverns of Skrekk and found its way into the eagerly quivering nostrils of a small brownishly scaled Kobold stopping the creature right in its tracks. “Oooh, pumpkin pie!!” the creature thought to itself and eagerly rubbed his clawed hands together. Trying to track the scent the Kobold turned his head left and right and quickly began following the scent through the convoluted caverns. “Out of the way! I’se is on urgent buziness!” Skrek’Kex exclaimed when another Kobold was blocking his much desired path. Following the turns and twists of the caves, the delicious smell intensified. Finally, Skrek’Kex was standing at the entrance to another part of the caves, but found his way blocked by a gate and a tall, well muscled Kobold with red and black scales. The big Kobold looked with cold yellow eyes down onto the much smaller Kobold. “Go away, Dobkop!” the Kobold blaffed, baring his impressively long and pointed teeth and gripping his Polearm tighter. Skrek’Kex stopped, taking care to not stand to close to the guard, and trippled nervously from one scaly foot to the other. “B..But I’se has urgrnt buziness with…” taking a quick look at the sign proclaiming whose residence he intended to enter “the Grakkhaz!”. “Psh, Skrek’Kex such a liar. Why would important Grakkazh want to meet with tiny weak liar?” the guard shook his head, then pointed with the polearm at Skrek’Kex. “Now offse you go or I offse your head!” he said and swung his polearm in a quick strike that made Skrek’Kex jump back a little.

The small Kobold was conflicted. He really *really* wanted some delicious pumpkin pie, but alas, one could not eat pumpkin pie without a head. The Grakkazh was also notoriously ill-tempered and through a series of misfortunes, which were totally not Skrek’Kex’ fault, as the Kobold had assured himself and also the Grakkazh repeatedly, the latter to no avail unfortunately, he was not sure if it was wise to be seen by the Great One after such a short time again. But, then again, it was pumpkin pie, the second most delicious thing known to Skrek’Kex. The only thing better than pumpkin pie being of course fish. Skrek’Kex produced a crumpled paper from his pocket. He had pocketed this from one of his latest expeditions into the human territory. He had liked the colorful markings on the paper although he had not been able to make heads nor tail of it. The written words on it were hard to read – even harder than most human handwriting for Skrek’Kex had studied humans and acquired some skill in their tongue – and the sketchy drawings placed at odd intervals on the page had no apparent relation to anything Skrek’Kex had ever seen. There was even a drawing of a figure with a human upper body and a fish tail on it, Skrek’Kex found that very odd. He had never heard of such a creature. If he ever found such an animal he’d love to eat it though! “Lookse, I have found plans a mighty hooman wizard made!” he said, waving the child’s drawing in his hand. The guard hrmphed, then came closer to take a look. “I think they want to attack Skrekk!” Skrek’Kex pointed at some words on the paper and a crude drawing of a Norgard Knight. “It is most urgent I should show this to the Grakkazh!”

The guard slowly pondered the matter. Skrek’Kex was a known nuisance in the caverns – but he was also known to be clever and often ventured into the human territory, gathering useful tidbits of information (and mostly food for his own stores). He’d be in trouble if the little rat really knew something, and not only Skrek’Kex would get in trouble, the guard thought to himself and decided to admit the smaller Kobold. Sensing the change in the posture of the other Kobold Skrek’Kex rejoiced silently. So so close to the delicious pie! Excitedly he trippled close to the guard who turned to open the gate. Just as Skrek’Kex wanted to pass the guard grabbed him at the shoulder. “Youse coming wit me. Bringing you to Grakkazh pe-so-nally.”

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Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with another wonderful story from Cianna. It is entitled

They Call her Lady Warrior, Chapter 4

(This is the continuation of the ongoing adventures of Cianna and Nick)

Background music by Smartsound

Friend or Foe?

Cianna sat up gingerly, raising a hand to her splitting head. She found herself half-propped against an old oak tree. There was no sign of Nick, nor the two ruffians they had been fighting.

“What the blazes happened,” Cianna asked aloud, still rubbing the knot on her head.

“You all right, miss?”

Cianna turned sharply, groaning as the world spun around for a moment, then settled her eyes on a guard standing a few feet away. He, too, was gingerly rubbing his head.

“You all right?” he repeated, concern showing on his face.

“I think so,” Cianna said, trying to stand. “Did you see the men who were here?”

“I saw two of them, briefly.” He smiled ruefully. “They took a sword hilt to my head as soon as I walked up to them. When I woke up, you were the only one here, milady. And by the looks of it, you took a sword hilt to the head, as well.”

Unlikely, Cianna thought to herself. She had taken down her combatant and had turned to help Nick. As it turns out, he had already taken down his opponent, as well. So who hit her? she wondered. That only leaves…

“Nick.”

“Beg pardon, miss?”

“Nothing, good sir, nothing. I’m just a bit muddled right now.”

“I hear ya there, miss. Well, if you’re sure you’re alright, I’ll be off to make a report to my superiors.”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

The guard made his way to the road and headed back toward Soltown, making a parting wave at Cianna as he went. As soon as he was out of earshot, Cianna exploded.

“Nick, you son of a whoring kobold!”

“Whoa, whoa, little lady. Is that anyway to speak to your betrothed?”

Cianna whipped around, looking for the owner of that familiar voice.

“Nick? Where…?”

“Up here.”

Cianna looked up. Nick, trussed and dangling from a sturdy tree branch, swayed above her. “Hello,” he said, grinning.

“By the Four, how did you get up there?”

“Well, I had some assistance.” He squirmed a bit as the ropes cut into his wrists and ankles. “A little help might be in order here,” he said.

“No.”

“No?” Nick looked down at her in surprise.

“No. Not until you tell me what happened.” She glared up at him. “Did you hit me?”

“Hit you? Milady, I can’t believe you’d even say such a thing. Hit you? Not if they held my feet in fire and tore my tongue out. Not if they cut out my beating heart and fed it to a dragon. Hit you? Never. I am deeply wounded you would even think such a thing.”

Cianna felt her anger begin to dissipate.

“But…” he continued, just as she was about to smile.

“But…?” she said warily.

“I might have magicked you just a little.”

Cianna’s voice became brittle.

“You did what?”

“Um, used magic on you. Just a little. Hardly worth mentioning at all. Really. Just a little stun.” His voice faded off.

Cianna stood looking up at him, a stunned expression on her face. She felt her aching head again.

“Hardly a little stun. Why in the Lady’s name would you do that?” she asked.

“Well,” Nick said, “I just…um…just wanted to keep you safe and I…um…was afraid you’d try to get those men to take you to Rats Nest and…I told you, it’s just not safe there for someone like you, and…um….” His voice trailed off as he saw the look in her eyes.

“Someone like me?” Cianna said coldly.

“You’re…well, I know you’re an experienced swords woman, I saw that with my own eyes, but Cianna, you’ve led a protected life, I can tell. You were raised as a gentlewoman. You really don’t know what men like that are, how little they care for human life. You just don’t know.”

Cianna stared at Nick for a moment, her eyes clouded and seeming to look beyond the glade where she stood.

“Don’t I, Nick?” she said, finally.

She brushed the dust off her armor, then looked for her sword. “Damn it, did they take my sword?”

“‘Fraid so, milady. Mine, too.”

“Serves *you* right,” she muttered to Nick.

“I’m heading into town to buy a new sword, if I can find a decent one there. Then, I’m afraid I have to be off. I have a couple of men to track. It was good seeing you, Nick.”

She started off toward town and heard Nick begin to sputter.

“Wait! Cianna! You’re not going to leave me here, are you? You can’t do that!”

Cianna whirled back to face him. “Can’t I?” she asked with a smile. “You will have to learn, Nick, that while I accept your friendship, gladly, you have to get over this ridiculous idea that I need to be rescued, not from those men, and not from myself. I have a mission, something that drives me, and I *will* see it through to the end. If those men can help, I must speak with them. And if they can’t, well, we’ll see what happens when the time comes. But if you’re going to be my friend, you have to learn to respect my decisions.”

She walked partly back toward the tree where Nick hung, and smiled up at him.

“Someone will be along soon, I’m sure, to cut you down. This road gets lots of foot traffic. But I have to leave you there now so I can be sure you won’t try to stop me again.”

“Cianna, I promise….”

She stopped him with a look.

“Goodbye, Nick, for now. I’m sure we’ll meet again someday.”

She threw him a wave over her shoulder as she walked back to Soltown proper. A small part of her felt guilty for leaving him hanging.

“You there, boy,” she called to a child playing in the road.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Will you do me a favor, young man?” Cianna asked, pulling a coin from the small purse hanging from her side. Odd, she thought, that her attackers didn’t take it. Perhaps they were having too much fun hanging Nick. The thought brought another smile. She held out the coin.

“Here, this is yours if you’ll wait ten minutes and then go tell the guard that there’s a man in a tree back there that needs help getting down.”

The young boy’s eyes grew wide. “A man in a tree?”

“Yes, he’s somehow got himself hung up in the tree. So will you do that for me? Wait ten minutes and then go inform the guard?”

The boy nodded his head vigorously and pocketed the coin.

Cianna smiled at him and continued her walk.

“Boy,” she called back over her shoulder. “On second thought, make it twenty minutes, please.”

“Yes, ma’am. I will.” He grinned and ran off to see the man hanging in the tree.

Cianna entered town and began looking for a weapons master. There was still much work to be done.