A Beastly Exhibition – by Themo Lock – narrated by Asclepius
Hello everyone, this is Asclepius, with a wonderful poem by Themo Lock. It is entitled
A Beastly Exhibition
Background music by Smartsound
Kevin was a visionary, a farmer and a showman,
his farm had recently been struck by flood, he took it as an omen.
The land was in proximity to the bustling Brittany Fields,
he had a plan that would surely profit more than agricultural yields.
He would build a grand bestiary… a pay-to-spectate zoo,
and fill it with every creature known, from wolf to bugaboo.
So far he had a horse, 2 sheep and a mildly distempered bear,
and was in negotiations to acquire a crocodilian breeding pair.
Construction was already underway, he was renovating the stable,
hammer in hand, Kevin perched atop a ladder that was quite unstable.
It’s dietary needs misunderstood the bear ate its curry but wasn’t well,
the beast’s rear let out a trumpet blast that’s volume was rivalled only by its smell.
Alarmed by the sudden demonic turn, the sheep charged blindly at the wall,
the impact jarring the rickety ladder which in turn began to fall.
Kevin’s trousers caught a loose nail, leaving him temporarily suspended,
then with the sound of tearing cloth.. pants remained but Kevin descended.
He landed on a panicked sheep and he grabbed the creature to prevent its escape,
and looked his naked torso over in relief that he barely suffered a scrape.
The bear however was enraged and confused and broke free from its stall,
startled further by Kevin’s womanly screams it burst right through the wall.
The entire side of the barn collapsed in a noisy, dusty cloud,
leaving the half naked Kevin clutching a sheep in full view of a gathering crowd.
He would have thought himself in a nightmare if he only was asleep,
as realization set in that it appeared as if he was a little too fond of sheep.
A woman screamed and covered the eyes of her giggling and pointing child,
anger spread, a guard was called, the crowd was quickly getting riled.
“What in the abyss is this?!” questioned the guard as he fumbled with his sword,
“A mishap with my bestiary” Kevin squeaked “Nothing untoward”.
“Bestiary!?” the shocked guard exclaimed “That is illegal and obscene!”
“What? NO, WAIT…” Kevin gasped “That isn’t what that word means.”
The guard was having none of this and Kevin was violently arrested,
on charges that would never be dropped no matter how much he protested.
Meanwhile in Rajim’s Curry Hut patrons were caught unaware,
as the seaside restaurant was unexpectedly stormed by a berserk, farting bear.
The events of that day would never be discussed in company that was polite,
and unfortunately for Kevin, the truth of what transpired would never come to light.