{"id":4341,"date":"2015-01-10T02:04:09","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T07:04:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/?p=4341"},"modified":"2025-10-21T17:05:55","modified_gmt":"2025-10-21T21:05:55","slug":"gene-giant-killer-written-jivalax-narrated-lord-baldrith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/gene-giant-killer-written-jivalax-narrated-lord-baldrith\/","title":{"rendered":"Gene the Giant Killer-Written by Jivalax-Narrated by Lord Baldrith"},"content":{"rendered":"<!--powerpress_player--><div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_4083\"><audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4341-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\">http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/?powerpress_pinw=4341-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\">Download<\/a> () | <a href=\"#\" class=\"powerpress_link_e\" title=\"Embed\" onclick=\"return powerpress_show_embed('4341-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Embed<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_embed_box\" id=\"powerpress_embed_4341-podcast\" style=\"display: none;\"><input id=\"powerpress_embed_4341-podcast_t\" type=\"text\" value=\"&lt;iframe width=&quot;320&quot; height=&quot;30&quot; src=&quot;https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/?powerpress_embed=4341-podcast&amp;amp;powerpress_player=mediaelement-audio&quot; title=&quot;Blubrry Podcast Player&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; scrolling=&quot;no&quot;&gt;&lt;\/iframe&gt;\" onclick=\"javascript: this.select();\" onfocus=\"javascript: this.select();\" style=\"width: 70%;\" readOnly><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_subscribe_links\">Subscribe: <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/echoes-from-the-cavern\/id857267086?mt=2&amp;ls=1#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fthecaverns.net%2FPodcasts%2F%3Fp%3D4341\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_itunes\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe on Apple Podcasts\" rel=\"nofollow\">Apple Podcasts<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/subscribebyemail.com\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe by Email\" rel=\"nofollow\">Email<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_rss\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe via RSS\" rel=\"nofollow\">RSS<\/a><\/p>\n<p>10\/21\/2025 Update:<br>-Links to the .mp3 on this post are now broken<br>-You can listen to the Mp3 File for this post now, on Youtube, here:<\/p>\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/oWCxoJ_sgwo\" width=\"560\" height=\"314\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Hello All! Here is a wonderful story by Jivalax! Sorry it took me so long to get this one out&#8230;There are 12 music tracks on this one which will be noted near where they appear in the story.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h1>Gene the Giant Killer by Jivalax<\/h1>\n<p>The Real Story<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Cool Beats 1.0 by Syncopika&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> I\u2019m sure y\u2019all know the stories of Gene the Giant Killer, I wrote enough of them after all, and they did play on the Tesla radio for years. \u201cA hero for whom larger than life is just the right size!\u201d I wrote. Course it all started with \u2018Gene the Giant Killer\u2019, which won me a ton of awards and made him the most famous slayer of ogres, ettins and trolls of all time. Then there was \u2018Gene the Giant Killer Revealed\u2019, which was more popular than the first book. Oh, and the critically acclaimed \u2013 though somewhat less popular \u2013 \u2018Gene and the Giant\u2019. But, the thing is, the lot of it was hogwash. That\u2019s right, I said it. Oh, sure we was best mates and all. I loved the man like a brother. But the things I wrote weren\u2019t all that there was to say. Fact is, I took a lot of liberties in the telling of those stories. He didn\u2019t want me writing the truth. And, looking back, I admit he was right. But, after a time, it got to itching me. The truth that is. Funny thing the truth. It seems easy to stuff away or bury in some shallow hole, forgotten. Then one day it starts wriggling away, working its way to the surface. I went to him and told him I wanted to write the real story. He swore. Well, he swore all the time \u2013 didn\u2019t read that in the other books did ya? Oh we went round and round about it. Hours of arguing, a broken nose (mine, not his) and a few pints later we reached an agreement. I would pen the truth, but not publish it until we were both dead. I was at his funeral a few years back so I know he\u2019s gone and since you\u2019re reading this \u2026 Hey now, don\u2019t fret about us none. I\u2019m probably up at the Bear Tavern in the sky sharing a pint with the Giant Killer himself. Or, if me mother-in-law was right, down at the fiery Bear Tavern below sharing a pint. Either way, neither of us\u2019ll benefit from a spilled tear now. Course, I\u2019d still be obliged if you\u2019d read on and say something nice in review of this, me last piece of work. It may be the only piece of non-fiction I ever wrote.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Chill BGM by syncopika&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cOi mate, I\u2019m Gene the Giant killer. What can I do for ya?\u201d I turned to look at the man who had uttered these now famous words. He was the smallest man I\u2019ve ever seen. A dwarf really. I don\u2019t mean the mythical kind with a long beard and a penchant for gold and smithing, no, I mean a little person. He was standing on a table and still had to look up at me. I began to wonder, not for the first time, why I wanted to be a writer at all. The local Tesla radio had offered me a pittance if I could find and interview a guy in a nearby town who had gained some local fame for killing a few giants. Simple cash I thought. It was turning into a total snipe hunt. I\u2019d already been to three taverns, each with some brawny ox who claimed to be the fabled Gene. Now here I was in some rat hole bar looking down at a little man with a big grin, rough cut brown hair and sparkling blue eyes \u2013 claiming to be a killer. \u201cSorry. I\u2019m looking for the man who has killed giants, named Gene. Who are you?\u201d I was fresh out of scribe school, all six foot seven inches of me, and wasn\u2019t about to let some dirt dumpling go jerking my chain. \u201cI said I was Gene, you farking string bean! Are ya bloody deaf? Demning pencil pushing gobshites!\u201d He spat on the floor. It might have been tobacco. Might not. \u201cYou? You\u2019re the killer of giants?\u201d I asked, incredulous. \u201cAye! What of it? Ya got a giant that needs killing?\u201d His eyes shown bright as the possibility of income crossed his mind. \u201cI\u2019m writing a story about \u2026\u201d I began. \u201cPiss off!\u201d he waved, dismissively.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;melancholicbeats-prototype by syncopika&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> \u201cExcuse me?\u201d \u201cDid I stutter? Or do you not know what \u2018Piss Off\u2019 means?\u201d \u201cNow see here, I\u2019m looking for the man who kills giants, so I can write about him. I\u2019ve already interviewed three men in this town alone who have claimed to be him. And let me tell you, sir, every one of them was a big man. You, well \u2026\u201d I arched my eyebrow and looked down at the little man. It made my point. \u201cWell then, if ya already got three big killers, what do ya need me for? Go get one of those fools to tell you lies. I\u2019ve got giants to cut down and precious little time for radios or writers.\u201d Gene took a swig from his mug and shot me that cockeyed smile that made him look so smug. I wanted to punch him right then and there. \u201cTheir stories, they didn\u2019t, well, they didn\u2019t make sense.\u201d \u201cUh huh.\u201d Gene oozed condescension. \u201cBut yours do, I suppose? You\u2019ll tell me how you broke a trolls nose, even though you barely reach his kneecaps? Or maybe how you knocked an ettin out with one punch, while everyone knows they have two heads. Or maybe you\u2019ll tell me that you\u2019re the mightiest man alive, tougher than any giant. I\u2019ve heard it all so far. So, how are you stronger than a giant?\u201d Gene guffawed. \u201cDon\u2019t be right daft, Cupcake. There\u2019s no way I\u2019m stronger than even an ogre. Then again, neither are you. Nor any of that lot you been wasting your time with. Stronger than a giant? Pfft! Idiots!\u201d \u201cSo, how do you kill them then?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;The Path Revealed by Eliot Corley from ChaosIsHarmony&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> \u201cI cut off their heads with my magic war axe of giant killing.\u201d He pursed his lips and took another sip from his cup. \u201cReally? You have a magic axe?\u201d I was intrigued, as at least a magic axe was believable. Well, more believable than what I\u2019d heard so far. Gene looked at me with mock kindness. \u201cYou really are pure gobshite aren\u2019t you? Do I look big enough to wield a war axe? It\u2019s a wonder you haven\u2019t traded your family\u2019s savings for magic beans.\u201d \u201cThe family savings was spent going to the finest scribe school in all of New Britania! I\u2019m going to be a famous writer.\u201d In retrospect, that might not have been the best comeback. Gene gave me a puzzled frown and shook his head. \u201cI kill giants. Not much more to know.\u201d \u201cBut how? How do you do it?\u201d The little man looked up from his mug as if seeing me for the first time, studying me. \u201cWhy do you want to know?\u201d \u201cI want to write about it! I want to tell the world how you do it,\u201d I beamed. \u201cYou do realize I make money from this right?\u201d I nodded. Gene spoke clearly, as if I was a slow child. \u201cI make money from it because most people can\u2019t do it. When a giant starts bothering a town they call me and pay me to solve the problem. If some wank of a writer goes and tells them how I do it, then anyone can do it and I\u2019m out of a job. That\u2019s not much incentive for me to tell you how I do it, is it?\u201d I could see what Gene meant about a steady job and since I myself was currently in a cash flow deficit, I took a different approach. \u201cI could just tell them about the adventure, and not actually how you do it. You know, make it a big story.\u201d \u201cNow who would care about that?\u201d \u201cAre you serious? Look at how popular such things are in books. There is the \u2018Lord of the Bracelets\u2019 trilogy, the \u2018Dragons of Parn\u2019 and my favorite the \u2018Game of Iron Chairs\u2019. Surely you\u2019ve read them?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t have much use for satire. And I don\u2019t like fiction.\u201d I was stunned. \u201cThose are all true! I\u2019m sure of it. Maybe. But, look, my point is, people will want to hear your stories.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know \u2026\u201d \u201cWhen everyone hears that you are the one to get the job done, you\u2019ll have more business than you can handle. More money!\u201d Gene\u2019s hand flashed out to grab my shirt and pull me closer. \u201cBeanpole, my friend, why didn\u2019t you say so before? Have a seat and let me tell you a story.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Fairy Tail by Alexandr Zhelanov https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/alexandr-zhelanov&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> \u201cThere was this one time a troll was terrorizing some little thorp. Big feller too. He\u2019d come in and eat their sheep about once a week. Yup. Well, to make a long story short, I killed him.\u201d Gene smiled as if that explained everything. \u201cAre you serious?\u201d My jaw dropped. \u201cOh yeah, I killed him good,\u201d Gene\u2019s toothy grin split his face. \u201cThat the kind of story you\u2019re looking for?\u201d I shut my gaping mouth. After a moment I said, \u201cThat\u2019s a little shy on the details.\u201d Ok, ok, if I am telling the truth what I actually said was, \u201cThat is the single most idiotic story I\u2019ve ever heard.\u201d Gene said, \u201cI\u2019ll try to elaborate a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Winter Waltz by Alexandr Zhelanov https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/alexandr-zhelanov&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> Ha, yeah right! He dashed his mug to the floor and wove a tapestry of profanity like none I\u2019d heard before. I don\u2019t think he repeated a single word during the entire tirade. I was lost in thought about possibly writing a book on swearing, when I realized he was staring at me. \u201cSorry, what?\u201d \u201cI said, \u2018If you don\u2019t like my story, you underfed priss, come with me on a giant hunt and tell it any way you want!\u2019 So, what do ya say?\u201d My skills as a writer were very good, I know, I\u2019d told myself many times. But, I made no illusion that I was any kind of warrior. Me, on a giant hunt, the idea alone was ridiculous. Impossible actually. \u201cI\u2019d love to.\u201d My stupid mouth has betrayed me more than once. \u201cGreat, I know of this ogre near here. The pay isn\u2019t what I like to earn, but with your story making money, I figure it\u2019ll compensate. We can leave in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Brave Infantry by Alexandr Zhelanov https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/alexandr-zhelanov&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In the original story I wrote, \u201cGene was knocking at my door before the sun kissed the sky.\u201d Writer fluff. In reality it was too bloody early. But, he was insistent and so, off we trudged. Off to kill a giant. It took until mid-morning to get to the edge of a cliff. Looking down the hundred plus feet to the rocks gave me a queasy feeling and made my head spin. \u201cWhy are we here exactly? This doesn\u2019t seem like a good place to kill a giant.\u201d Gene glared up at me and then began to unpack the gear we had brought. \u201cLook here, one of us is an expert in killing giants and the other is a sissy pencil scratching wuss. I\u2019m the former, you\u2019re the latter. So we hunt where I say we hunt. That simple enough for you?\u201d I watched the little man pace off back and forth, check the dirt for who knows what, sniff the air, taste a blade of grass and finally draw a tiny circle in the dirt with his foot. \u201cWhat exactly are you doing?\u201d Gene got very serious. \u201cThere\u2019s an ogre around here. He hunts in this area. He\u2019ll come over that little rise sometime today. When he does, I\u2019ll spring this magic trap and dispatch him.\u201d I looked at the rock Gene held in his hand. It looked like any other rock in the area. \u201cThat\u2019s a rock.\u201d \u201cWell, it has to look like a rock so the big lug doesn\u2019t know it\u2019s a trap. If he senses it\u2019s a trap, he\u2019ll avoid it and then we\u2019ll have trouble,\u201d Gene explained. It still looked like a rock to me. \u201cYou sure it will work?\u201d \u201cAbsolutely! Mostly. Probably. It should. But sometimes \u2026,\u201d the dwarf shrugged. \u201cSometimes what?\u201d I demanded. \u201cWell, sometimes it doesn\u2019t work, so I use my magic ring and turn invisible. The giant will stomp around for a bit killing anything it can see, but then it will eventually wander off and I\u2019ll try again later.\u201d \u201cTurn invisible!\u201d \u201cWell, yeah. You don\u2019t want to be around when an angry giant is trying to kill you. They\u2019re big. And mean. And hungry.\u201d \u201cSo you turn invisible!\u201d \u201cYup.\u201d \u201cWhat am I supposed to do?\u201d I asked. \u201cWell, you just wave your arms and seem vulnerable and when he comes over the rise he\u2019ll walk past the trap and I\u2019ll spring it and we\u2019re done.\u201d Gene seemed very confident. \u201cWhat happens if it doesn\u2019t work?\u201d \u201cTold ya, I turn invisible.\u201d \u201cWhat happens to me?\u201d I screamed. \u201cWell you\u2019d better \u2026 oh I see what you mean. Hmm.\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s your solution? Hmm! I can\u2019t turn invisible you know!\u201d \u201cOk, ok, there is another option, but you won\u2019t like it.\u201d \u201cWill I like it less than being stomped to death and eaten by an ogre?\u201d Gene smiled. \u201cOh no, it\u2019s not nearly that bad. Here\u2019s what we\u2019re gonna do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Escadre by Alexandr Zhelanov https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/alexandr-zhelanov&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere ya go, snug as a bug,\u201d Gene purred as he checked to make sure every adjustment on the climbing harness was tight. \u201cI don\u2019t know about this,\u201d I started. \u201cNow Beanpole, you wanted to come on a giant hunt. This is a giant hunt. You can\u2019t turn invisible, and so this is the only other way. Trust me.\u201d \u201cI sure hope your trap works,\u201d I mumbled. \u201cMe too,\u201d Gene admitted. \u201cGene, what happens if he doesn\u2019t fall for it?\u201d \u201cOh he\u2019ll fall for it, you just be sure not to catch the trip line with your foot. You run for all you got and leap over the edge. Leap, not crawl. Not slide. Leap.\u201d \u201cBut only if the trap fails. Right?\u201d \u201cRight. Right. Of course,\u201d the little man smiled soothingly. So I sat down where I was instructed to sit. My safety rope was hidden, buried in the dust. All I had to do was be bait for a man eating giant. Simple. You know, as I write it here and now, it seems rather silly. But when I was a young man, this is what passed for excitement. We were a brave breed back then. Ok, foolish probably. Me, I was desperate, I\u2019d do anything to be a famous writer. And, in the end, you don\u2019t really care. You just want to know what happened. Well, I\u2019ll tell ya, I sat there for nigh onto an hour when I heard a chuffing sound. I looked up just in time to see an ogre step over the rise. That\u2019s when it all started to go sideways.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Takeover 5 by Horrorpen&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now, I know in the books you read, the story goes that three ogres came over the rise. I dropped one with a magic crossbow bolt between the eyes, Gene stuck one with his magic trap and we struggled bravely and finally cut the third one down. Well that was just a story. It didn\u2019t happen. There was only one ogre. The brute seemed to smell something, likely me, but hadn\u2019t yet spotted me. His eyes were all squinty, like he needed ogre glasses or something. I thought, \u2018how can he not see me? I\u2019m right here.\u2019 So, I stood up and waved my arms, just like Gene had told me to do. That did the trick. He let out a bellow. A snot flying, spittle spraying kind of bellow. No, I don\u2019t mean a scream, like your sister might do. Not a yell like your mother when she\u2019s mad. Not even the sound like your wife might make if she found you in bed with \u2026 well actually, it was a little like that. But, mostly it sounded like a rampaging bull. I mean the kind of volume you can feel in your chest. At that moment I became so paralyzed with fear the only thing that moved was my bladder and my mouth, and mouth only got out, \u201cGngk!\u201d I need to take a moment at this point for those of you who may not be familiar with ogre speak. I wasn\u2019t at the time. You see, their language is relatively foul and crude. Pretty much the only thing it consists of is references to food, fighting and a few select insults. Completely unbeknownst to me, what I had uttered was a close approximation to one of the worst ogre insults. It insinuated some rather lurid acts with a member of the family. <strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;Invasion by Eliot Corley from ChaosIsHarmony&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The giant in front of me responded to my \u201cGngk!\u201d with eyes widening to saucers and standing to his full height. It was nine-foot-something huge. He then let out a war cry that made it obvious his first bellow had simply been a kindly, \u201cHello, I\u2019ll be your ogre today, and I\u2019m going to eat you.\u201d Now this noise was more of a, \u201cYou have offended me, my family, and my honor. I\u2019m going to stomp you into a puddle of red goo, pick out any bone shards and smash them with a rock!\u201d Yes, as a matter of a fact, I did get all of that in his single cry. I assure you my mind was working rather quickly at that moment. My entire life flashed before my eyes, and after replaying the good parts a time or two (and three for that night with the miller\u2019s daughter) I decided I had not had nearly enough of it. Life that is. And since I had a huge, raging, killing machine thundering in my direction I thought it would be best to be somewhere else. I completely forgot that I was tied into a harness, connected to a rope and all that. I simply knew I needed to be away from the landslide of death that was heading in my direction. I ran for all I was worth, straight away from oncoming death, directly toward the cliff. At some point I recall thinking how it was strange that the beast was still coming, getting ever closer to me. I thought Gene would surely spring the trap and I would be saved from diving headlong over a cliff. Yet, I could feel ogre spittle hitting the back of my neck as I careened for the edge, running out into the air, legs still pumping as fast as they could. I actually felt the ogre\u2019s hand brush me as he snarled past on the way to the rocks below. Then I hit the wall and blacked out.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;elpin by Jan123&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, there you are. You were perfect!\u201d Gene smiled at me. He must have pulled me back up the cliff with the tiny block and tackle setup he had attached to the rope. \u201cWha?\u201d I am so elegant when I am just coming back to consciousness. \u201cYou were perfect bait. We killed the man-eating ogre! You got your story and I get another kill to build up my reputation. That\u2019s money, Beanpole.\u201d \u201cYour trap. It didn\u2019t work?\u201d \u201cSure it did. We killed the ogre.\u201d \u201cNo, your magic trap. It didn\u2019t stop him.\u201d \u201cHuh? Oh, right. The magic trap. Yeah. Tough break there. Can\u2019t trust those magic traps.\u201d Gene went to packing up our gear. \u201cGene?\u201d \u201cYa, mate?\u201d \u201cThere wasn\u2019t a magic trap was there? Your plan was always to have me be the bait and run over the cliff.\u201d \u201cWell \u2026\u201d \u201cI could have died!\u201d \u201cAye, but ya didn\u2019t. That old ogre was nearly blind, I knew he wouldn\u2019t see the trip line or the cliff edge. I needed a runner and in case you haven\u2019t noticed, your legs are a tad longer than mine.\u201d \u201cYou used me!\u201d \u201cOh don\u2019t go getting all high and mighty. You were going to write all about my giant killing to get rich and famous. I\u2019m out here risking my butt at every turn while you wanted to make money by talking about my deeds? Is that what passes for fair where you come from?\u201d Gene crossed his arms and looked a bit offended. \u201cWell \u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll tell ya what, gobshite, I\u2019ll split the reward money with ya, IF you split the story money with me.\u201d \u201cHmm, how big is the reward?\u201d I asked. \u201cA hundred gold coins.\u201d Gene raised an eyebrow as if to inquire if that was enough to buy me.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong><em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">&#8220;mythica by congusbongus&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/strong> I hesitated. Not because there was any doubt, but because I thought blurting out \u201cAbso-farking-lutely!\u201d would lack grace. After all, the paper had offered to pay me only one, that\u2019s right, one gold coin. (I was not as well-known back then as I became later, when people would give me a coin just to autograph their copy of my book.) \u201cOh come on, Beanpole. You gotta admit, it was exciting.\u201d \u201cMaybe, on one condition: we go on another giant hunt \u2013 and I am not bait this time \u2013 and we split the reward money and the story money, even. \u201cDone! I been thinking you could write a whole book about me killing giants. We can fill it with stories like this.\u201d \u201cYeah, a book is a good idea. But I think I\u2019ll take a little creative license in telling the stories. So you got any other jobs lined up?\u201d Gene smiled at me. \u201cAs a matter of fact, I recently heard there\u2019s an ettin a days ride north of here.\u201d Then he looked directly at me with his sparkling blue eyes. \u201cSo, what are you gonna call this book? \u2018How to Beat Giants\u2019? Maybe \u2018Encyclopedia Gigantica\u2019?\u201d I did my best to mimic his smile and his accent. \u201cNo mate, I think I\u2019ll call it \u2018Gene the Giant Killer\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"clammr-player\" data-title=\"Gene the Giant Killer-Written by Jivalax-Narrated by Lord Baldrith\" data-imageUrl=\"\"><audio id=\"audio-4341-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%; visibility: hidden;\" src=\"http:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\"><\/audio><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-980\" src=\"http:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"Album with EQ - B&amp;A - Stile T as SM\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-144x144.jpg 144w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-230x230.jpg 230w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM-900x900.jpg 900w, https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/Album-with-EQ-BA-Stile-T-as-SM.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<!--powerpress_player--><div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_4085\"><audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4341-3\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3?_=3\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\">http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/?powerpress_pinw=4341-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3\">Download<\/a> () | <a href=\"#\" class=\"powerpress_link_e\" title=\"Embed\" onclick=\"return powerpress_show_embed('4341-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Embed<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_embed_box\" id=\"powerpress_embed_4341-podcast\" style=\"display: none;\"><input id=\"powerpress_embed_4341-podcast_t\" type=\"text\" value=\"&lt;iframe width=&quot;320&quot; 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Here is a wonderful story by Jivalax! Sorry it took me [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Gene the Giant Killer-Written by Jivalax-Narrated by Lord Baldrith - Echoes from the Caverns<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/gene-giant-killer-written-jivalax-narrated-lord-baldrith\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Gene the Giant Killer-Written by Jivalax-Narrated by Lord Baldrith - Echoes from the Caverns\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"http:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/cdb\/thecaverns.net\/Podcasts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Gene-the-Giant-Killer.mp3 Podcast: Play in new window | Download () | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Email | RSS 10\/21\/2025 Update:-Links to the .mp3 on this post are now broken-You can listen to the Mp3 File for this post now, on Youtube, here: Hello All! 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